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medical quotes (55)

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
Isaac Asimov   Category: Medical

When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much.
Enid Bagnold   Category: Medical

People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures.
Martha Beck   Category: Medical

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.
Erma Bombeck   Category: Medical

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck   Category: Medical

Doctors will have more lives to answer for in the next world than even we generals.
Napoleon Bonaparte   Category: Medical

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.
James H. Boren   Category: Medical

I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of people's lives.
Zach Braff   Category: Medical

A physician's physiology has much the same relation to his power of healing as a cleric's divinity has to his power of influencing conduct.
Samuel Butler   Category: Medical

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
Nicolas Cage   Category: Medical

Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell.
Cass Canfield   Category: Medical

Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
Anton Chekhov   Category: Medical

Medicine is my lawful wife and literature my mistress; when I get tired of one, I spend the night with the other.
Anton Chekhov   Category: Medical

Honestly, being a doctor could make you more close minded than regular people.
Alex Chiu   Category: Medical

I regret to this day that I never went to college. I feel I should have been a doctor.
Ty Cobb   Category: Medical

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing.
Norman Cousins   Category: Medical

When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.
Rodney Dangerfield   Category: Medical

As a physician, I know many doctors want to utilize new technology, but they find the cost prohibitive.
Nathan Deal   Category: Medical

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
Dizzy Dean   Category: Medical

The best doctor is the one you run to and can't find.
Denis Diderot   Category: Medical

Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor.
Anthony Edwards   Category: Medical

Medical liability reform is not a Republican or Democrat issue or even a doctor versus lawyer issue. It is a patient issue.
John Ensign   Category: Medical

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science.
Martin H. Fischer   Category: Medical

I've got to go. That's one of the penalties of being a doctor. I never seem to finish a conversation.
Robert M. Fresco   Category: Medical

America has the best doctors, the best nurses, the best hospitals, the best medical technology, the best medical breakthrough medicines in the world. There is absolutely no reason we should not have in this country the best health care in the world.
Bill Frist   Category: Medical

The physician's highest calling, his only calling, is to make sick people healthy - to heal, as it is termed.
Samuel Hahnemann   Category: Medical

In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival.
Edward Everett Hale   Category: Medical

Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm.
Hippocrates   Category: Medical

Modern medicine is a negation of health. It isn't organized to serve human health, but only itself, as an institution. It makes more people sick than it heals.
Ivan Illich   Category: Medical

One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.
Alice James   Category: Medical

Doctors coin money when they do procedures but family medicine doesn't have any procedures.
David Jones   Category: Medical

As a medical doctor, it is my duty to evaluate the situation with as much data as I can gather and as much expertise as I have and as much experience as I have to determine whether or not the wish of the patient is medically justified.
Jack Kevorkian   Category: Medical

You can die of the cure before you die of the illness.
Michael Landon   Category: Medical

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?
Jay London   Category: Medical

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Groucho Marx   Category: Medical

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
Groucho Marx   Category: Medical

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more.
Walter Matthau   Category: Medical

If you look at the human condition today, not everyone is well fed, has access to good medical care, or the physical basics that provide for a healthy and a happy life.
Ralph Merkle   Category: Medical

A pregnant woman facing the most dire circumstances must be able to count on her doctor to do what is medically necessary to protect her from serious physical harm.
Barbara Mikulski   Category: Medical

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it.
Ovid   Category: Medical

Time is generally the best doctor.
Ovid   Category: Medical

They certainly give very strange names to diseases.
Plato   Category: Medical

Illness is the doctor to whom we pay most heed; to kindness, to knowledge, we make promise only; pain we obey.
Marcel Proust   Category: Medical

Three-quarters of the sicknesses of intelligent people come from their intelligence. They need at least a doctor who can understand this sickness.
Marcel Proust   Category: Medical

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead.
Cesar Romero   Category: Medical

Mammograms are really sort of a gift. You can either catch something early or count your lucky stars because nothing was discovered. Either way, you're ahead of the game.
Charlotte Ross   Category: Medical

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
Rita Rudner   Category: Medical

Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo.
Zoe Saldana   Category: Medical

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind; the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity.
Arthur Schopenhauer   Category: Medical

I'm strongly for a patient Bill of Rights. Decisions ought to be made by doctors, not accountants.
Charles Schumer   Category: Medical

Passion, you see, can be destroyed by a doctor. It cannot be created.
Peter Shaffer   Category: Medical

The art of medicine was to be properly learned only from its practice and its exercise.
Thomas Sydenham   Category: Medical

The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves; most things, in fact, are better in the morning.
Lewis Thomas   Category: Medical

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
Earl Wilson   Category: Medical

When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
Henny Youngman   Category: Medical