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marriage quotes (144)

Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could.
Abigail Adams   Category: Marriage

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
Joey Adams   Category: Marriage

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
George Ade   Category: Marriage

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.
Woody Allen   Category: Marriage

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.
Robert Anderson   Category: Marriage

Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive.
Antisthenes   Category: Marriage

But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?
Mary Astell   Category: Marriage

I married beneath me, all women do.
Nancy Astor   Category: Marriage

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.
Enid Bagnold   Category: Marriage

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
Honore de Balzac   Category: Marriage

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
Honore de Balzac   Category: Marriage

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin.
Honore de Balzac   Category: Marriage

Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. Not only is their work important to our local and national economies, but their success is central to the well-being of their families.
Melissa Bean   Category: Marriage

Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work?
Gary Becker   Category: Marriage

Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles.
Henry Ward Beecher   Category: Marriage

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Brendan Behan   Category: Marriage

I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom.
Michael Bergin   Category: Marriage

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Ambrose Bierce   Category: Marriage

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Ambrose Bierce   Category: Marriage

Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Ambrose Bierce   Category: Marriage

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.
Josh Billings   Category: Marriage

Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family.
John Boehner   Category: Marriage

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
Erma Bombeck   Category: Marriage

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James H. Boren   Category: Marriage

One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague.
Robert Burton   Category: Marriage

I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.
Barbara Bush   Category: Marriage

Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
Sophia Bush   Category: Marriage

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.
Lord Byron   Category: Marriage

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
Eddie Cantor   Category: Marriage

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.
Frank Carson   Category: Marriage

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much.
Colin Chapman   Category: Marriage

There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife.
Steven Curtis Chapman   Category: Marriage

There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear.
Thomas Chatterton   Category: Marriage

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
Gilbert K. Chesterton   Category: Marriage

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner.
Charles Caleb Colton   Category: Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
Billy Connolly   Category: Marriage

The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife.
Cyril Connolly   Category: Marriage

Marriage is an exercise in torture.
Frances Conroy   Category: Marriage

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something.
Will Cuppy   Category: Marriage

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield   Category: Marriage

I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.
Bette Davis   Category: Marriage

It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
Benjamin Disraeli   Category: Marriage

No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married.
Benjamin Disraeli   Category: Marriage

Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without.
James C. Dobson   Category: Marriage

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.
Isadora Duncan   Category: Marriage

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Finley Peter Dunne   Category: Marriage

It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband.
Euripides   Category: Marriage

Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.
Linda Fiorentino   Category: Marriage

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.
Robert Frost   Category: Marriage

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor   Category: Marriage

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
Zsa Zsa Gabor   Category: Marriage

When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place.
Helen Gahagan   Category: Marriage

The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits.
John Gay   Category: Marriage

Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands.
Jean Giraudoux   Category: Marriage

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable.
Emma Goldman   Category: Marriage

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.
Lee Grant   Category: Marriage

Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.
Robert Graves   Category: Marriage

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard   Category: Marriage

An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.
Sacha Guitry   Category: Marriage

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry   Category: Marriage

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.
Grace Hansen   Category: Marriage

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.
Sydney J. Harris   Category: Marriage

Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things that made life to me glorious - friendship and learning.
Jane Harrison   Category: Marriage

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle.
Heinrich Heine   Category: Marriage

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
Katharine Hepburn   Category: Marriage

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn   Category: Marriage

The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.
A. P. Herbert   Category: Marriage

The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time.
A. P. Herbert   Category: Marriage

Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.
Hesiod   Category: Marriage

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
Homer   Category: Marriage