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Wilson Mizner quotes (40)

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Art is science made clear.
Wilson Mizner   Category: Art

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Failure has gone to his head.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

God help those who do not help themselves.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
Wilson Mizner   Category: Wisdom

The first hundred years are the hardest.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
Wilson Mizner   Category:

When you take stuff from one writer it's plagiarism; but when you take it from many writers, it's research.
Wilson Mizner   Category: Science

You sparkle with larceny.
Wilson Mizner   Category: