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Scott Adams quotes (29)

Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
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Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company.
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Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.
Scott Adams   Category: Art

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
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Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
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I get mail; therefore I am.
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I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
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If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
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If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?
Scott Adams   Category: Intelligence

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
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In less enlightened times, the best way to impress women was to own a hot car. But women wised up and realized it was better to buy their own hot cars so they wouldn't have to ride around with jerks.
Scott Adams   Category: Car

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.
Scott Adams   Category: Business

Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
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Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.
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Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
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Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
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One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
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Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
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Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.
Scott Adams   Category: Business

The best things in life are silly.
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The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
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The longer you work here, diverse it gets.
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The only risk of failure is promotion.
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There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
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There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
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We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings.
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You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
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You don't have to be a "person of influence" to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.
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