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Ogden Nash quotes (42)

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash   Category:

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?
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Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
Ogden Nash   Category:

Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
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Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Ogden Nash   Category:

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.
Ogden Nash   Category:

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
Ogden Nash   Category:

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
Ogden Nash   Category: Work

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
Ogden Nash   Category: Marriage

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.
Ogden Nash   Category:

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Ogden Nash   Category:

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.
Ogden Nash   Category:

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Ogden Nash   Category:

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Ogden Nash   Category:

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
Ogden Nash   Category:

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
Ogden Nash   Category:

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Ogden Nash   Category:

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.
Ogden Nash   Category: Pet

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
Ogden Nash   Category:

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
Ogden Nash   Category:

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash   Category:

Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Ogden Nash   Category: