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Lewis Grizzard quotes (9)

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
Lewis Grizzard   Category: Marriage

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wriggle and weasel out of one.
Lewis Grizzard   Category:

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'
Lewis Grizzard   Category: