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Earl Wilson quotes (31)

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.
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A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
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A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
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Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.
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An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.
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Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.
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Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
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Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.
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Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
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For the parents of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown into innings.
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Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.
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He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.
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He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.
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Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.
Earl Wilson   Category: Home

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.
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Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?
Earl Wilson   Category: Money

Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.
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Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
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Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.
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One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.
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Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.
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Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.
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Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
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Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.
Earl Wilson   Category: Success

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.
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The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.
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This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.
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To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.
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Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.
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You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.
Earl Wilson   Category: Medical