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Bob Hope quotes (30)

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
Bob Hope   Category: Money

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
Bob Hope   Category: Funny

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?
Bob Hope   Category:

Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.
Bob Hope   Category:

I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
Bob Hope   Category:

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.
Bob Hope   Category: Age

I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.
Bob Hope   Category:

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.
Bob Hope   Category:

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.
Bob Hope   Category:

I have too much money invested in sweaters.
Bob Hope   Category:

I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!
Bob Hope   Category:

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
Bob Hope   Category: Funny

I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
Bob Hope   Category:

If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
Bob Hope   Category:

If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.
Bob Hope   Category:

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
Bob Hope   Category: Sports

Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.
Bob Hope   Category:

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.
Bob Hope   Category: Age

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.
Bob Hope   Category:

She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.
Bob Hope   Category:

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.
Bob Hope   Category:

The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup.
Bob Hope   Category:

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
Bob Hope   Category: Pet

They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.
Bob Hope   Category:

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.
Bob Hope   Category:

When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.
Bob Hope   Category:

When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.
Bob Hope   Category:

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope   Category: Birthday

You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.
Bob Hope   Category:

You've got to be rich to have a swing like that.
Bob Hope   Category: